December 12, 2008

He Who Pays Also Has Control

This is a classic question: how much control does the person paying for the wedding get? Should it be proportional to the amount of the budget they are contributing? How would you split up the decisions? If your parents pay for your entire wedding, do they get a final say in all decisions?

I were a parent I could see where I might want to have some control of where my money is going. I guess I would draw the line at matters of taste. If my kid likes hot pink and yellow and wants those as her wedding colors, well why should I stop her just because I think that would be hideous? But if she wanted to spend half of her budget on her wedding dress, I might step in and get her back on track.

My personal opinion is that if it is your wedding, you should be able to make decisions within reason. It's YOUR day, right? What do you think—how much control should the financiers get?

Here is are some other opinions on this classic dilemma:
Discussions on TheKnot.com, and the "expert" opinion
OK, more from TheKnot
Info from The First Dance
Question/Answer at The Wedding Bee
VideoJug (AWESOME website... I could easily get trapped here during work hours!)
iVillage wedding advice
Aussies weigh in on their views

There are tons more but they all seem to be saying the same thing I said. I have a problem with seeing both sides to the story, never committing to one opinion, but in this case I think you have to take a compromising position (ha!) on all issues.

My parents were great and literally just gave what they wanted to give and said have at it. Of course, I was so excited that I told them about all the plans, but they just said "that's nice" and "you're so organized!" Because I am. :)

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