He Who Pays Also Has Control

This is a classic question: how much control does the person paying for the wedding get? Should it be proportional to the amount of the budget they are contributing? How would you split up the decisions? If your parents pay for your entire wedding, do they get a final say in all decisions?

I were a parent I could see where I might want to have some control of where my money is going. I guess I would draw the line at matters of taste. If my kid likes hot pink and yellow and wants those as her wedding colors, well why should I stop her just because I think that would be hideous? But if she wanted to spend half of her budget on her wedding dress, I might step in and get her back on track.

My personal opinion is that if it is your wedding, you should be able to make decisions within reason. It's YOUR day, right? What do you think—how much control should the financiers get?

Here is are some other opinions on this classic dilemma:
Discussions on TheKnot.com, and the "expert" opinion
OK, more from TheKnot
Info from The First Dance
Question/Answer at The Wedding Bee
VideoJug (AWESOME website... I could easily get trapped here during work hours!)
iVillage wedding advice
Aussies weigh in on their views

There are tons more but they all seem to be saying the same thing I said. I have a problem with seeing both sides to the story, never committing to one opinion, but in this case I think you have to take a compromising position (ha!) on all issues.

My parents were great and literally just gave what they wanted to give and said have at it. Of course, I was so excited that I told them about all the plans, but they just said "that's nice" and "you're so organized!" Because I am. :)

Wedding Ink

Before we got married, Andy and I were discussed wedding rings. He didn't know if

1. he would be able to stand wearing a ring, and
2. he would be able to wear it to work, since he works with machinery.

So he told me he would get a wedding ring tattoo if the metal ring didn't work out. It really touched me that he would permanently mark himself for me. As I mulled it around, I felt like I could definitely get a wedding ring tattoo as well.

My friend Amanda got her most recent tattoo done at Jinx Proof in Georgetown. I'm not sure which artist did hers, but I like Susan's work:
So what would it look like? I thought I might get his name on the front and the wedding date on the back, but I decided to look for other people's wedding ring tattoos and found some interesting results:There were tons more images I'm just not sure what would best represent my feelings and what I'd feel comfortable with having on my body.

What do you think? Would you ever get a tattoo under or instead of a wedding ring?

No Bar is Better Than a Cash Bar

Despite the relaxation of "proper etiquette" in today's society, the bottom line is that these people are your GUESTS. They have given up at least two of these, if not more:

• Their time—maybe the most important of the list.
• A wedding gift—even if it's small, it's something they gave up for you.
• Transportation costs—plane, train, automobile rental, you name it.
• Accomodations—unless your entire guest list is from one area, someone is going to have to pony up for a place to stay.
  
• New clothes, haircut, etc.—sure, this is optional, but if they are representing you, you'd want them looking their finest!

I think it's completely inappropriate to have a cash bar at a wedding. If you can't afford it, don't have alcohol at all.

However, I was interested and a little shocked to find these responses to "Dear Abby." I don't think having your guests pay for their own drinks allows you to wash your hands of the matter and feel that you are not responsible for what happens to them. You're still providing the alcohol.

I am a Geek

My friends teased me about having an Excel spreadsheet for my wedding—with a wedding budget, guest list, wedding checklist, you get the idea. But having everything at your fingertips and all in one place saves so much time, especially when you are planning on your lunch break.

For example, it was great to have notes that the bus company estimated $1170 for two buses because a few months later when they estimated $750 for one, I mentioned the previous estimate and we got the bus for $580. This was a make or break situation in being able to provide a shuttle for our friends and family and have a DD available to everyone.

Basically, I am a geek and I like to be organized. I need to be able to keep track of every cent and every conversation and every idea. How else can you be fully informed and make good decisions?

If you'd like a peek at the spreadsheet, shoot me an email and I'll divulge more! :)

Money ≠ Happiness

After Andy and I were engaged and the general excitement of the proposal turned into the "practical" matters of planning, I began to research venues online. And then I freaked out. I had yet to talk to my parents, but I knew that I was not going to have an unlimited budget. I also knew that I didn't want my parents to be hurting financially over ONE DAY.

While I was in full freak-out mode, I was looking for advice and inspiration within the anonymity of the glorious blogosphere, and I found A $10,000 Wedding. The author has such a passion for all things wedding, and an obvious commitment to stay under $10K. Especially around the holidays (and hello, major recession) it's really important to remember that money does not equal happiness.