Eyebrows and Orajel

Well, the Orajel didn't relieve the pain from the eyebrow plucking, but it formed a lovely hard crust of matted down eyebrows that really added to my look. It will be all the rage soon, just wait.

I want to find the author of the beauty article that suggested this idea and kick her in the shins.

Painful Eyebrow Plucking!

My friends think I'm weird, but it REALLY hurts me when I pluck my eyebrows. At the first pluck I'm already watery-eyed and bright red. I read somewhere that putting Orajel or another mouth numbing substance on your eyebrows will make it painless (or at least pain-free). I'm going to give it a try tonight. More later...

He Who Pays Also Has Control

This is a classic question: how much control does the person paying for the wedding get? Should it be proportional to the amount of the budget they are contributing? How would you split up the decisions? If your parents pay for your entire wedding, do they get a final say in all decisions?

I were a parent I could see where I might want to have some control of where my money is going. I guess I would draw the line at matters of taste. If my kid likes hot pink and yellow and wants those as her wedding colors, well why should I stop her just because I think that would be hideous? But if she wanted to spend half of her budget on her wedding dress, I might step in and get her back on track.

My personal opinion is that if it is your wedding, you should be able to make decisions within reason. It's YOUR day, right? What do you think—how much control should the financiers get?

Here is are some other opinions on this classic dilemma:
Discussions on TheKnot.com, and the "expert" opinion
OK, more from TheKnot
Info from The First Dance
Question/Answer at The Wedding Bee
VideoJug (AWESOME website... I could easily get trapped here during work hours!)
iVillage wedding advice
Aussies weigh in on their views

There are tons more but they all seem to be saying the same thing I said. I have a problem with seeing both sides to the story, never committing to one opinion, but in this case I think you have to take a compromising position (ha!) on all issues.

My parents were great and literally just gave what they wanted to give and said have at it. Of course, I was so excited that I told them about all the plans, but they just said "that's nice" and "you're so organized!" Because I am. :)

Did You Know: Old, New, Borrowed, Blue, Shoe??

So we've all heard the little wedding ditty: "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue..." but as I often find out, not many people have heard the last part: "and a silver sixpence in your shoe." The origin of this rhyme is generally accepted as being Victorian, but some of the customs that it refers to are as old as ancient Rome.

Something Old
According to The Phrase Finder, "something old" respresents continuity in the form of the couple's friends or family who will support them during their marriage. Items usually are given to the bride by a happily married woman, to pass the happiness on to the new bride. Often the "something old" will be a piece of family jewelry or other keepsake item. My husband's family has a diamond that has been passed down through generations and reset in each wife's engagement ring, so I had a special something old right off the bat!

Something New
No shortage of options here—but for the traditional symbolism, Georgia Girl's page on wedding traditions says that the wedding gown is often chosen as "something new," meant to represent good fortune, success and good hopes for a bright future in a new life. It makes sense that you'd want to step out to your new life in your new dress!

Something Borrowed
The symbolism behind "something borrowed" is similar to "something old," except that the bride would have to return the valued item to ensure good luck, according to The Phrase Finder. Georgia Girl agrees and restresses the value of the borrowed item coming from a happily married woman.

Something Blue
This is actually the oldest part of the traditions and has lots of meaning behind it. Ancient Romans believed that blue was the color of love, modesty, and fidelity, according to Ask Yahoo. It is also well known that the Christian Virgin Mary is most often depicted wearing blue, and the color has been associated with purity since biblical times. All three of the aforementioned sites mention that in ancient Israel, brides would wear a blue ribbon in their hair to represent fidelity, and often both the bride and groom would wear a blue band on the bottom of their wedding attire. Before the late 19th century, blue was a popular color for wedding gowns. (I LOVE this idea, see the blue gown I found!)

A Silver Sixpence in Your Shoe
A quick lesson for the non-British among us: Wikipedia says a sixpence is a coin worth 1/40th of a British pound, made of sterling silver until 1920. The first sixpences were struck in 1551 and continued until the acceptance of decimalisation in 1967. Ask Yahoo says that the shoe custom may date back to a Scottish custom of the groom putting a silver coin under his foot for good luck. In any case, the sixpence represents financial security and wealth of both money and children. Some brides substitute a penny or a dime in their shoe (left shoe for best results). Andy's grandfather collected foreign currency and I was lucky enough to find an actual silver sixpence!

This whole poem is the most purely symbolic tradition in wedding lore, and can be taken as seriously or as lightheartedly as you want. I had the old diamond, new dress, borrowed my mom's pearls, wore blue underwear, and had the sixpence in my shoe because although I'm not superstitious, my wedding wasn't the time to push it!

Wedding Dress Fears

I knew I wanted my mom to make my wedding dress because she has mad skillz :) and it would be a special way to include her since she lives 9 hours away. But I was scared to go into the chi-chi bridal shops and try on dresses that were meant to be worn on super-thin models. (I've gained about 25 lbs. since meeting Andy, and have struggled with "image" issues for a long time.) I was so afraid of trying on dresses that I never did, I just looked at lots of photos and went with something I knew had worked in the past. (We ended up making me a new dress 2 weeks before the wedding, but that's another story!)

I wish that I had read this post by Miss Cleveland Park at DC Nearlyweds before we got married. Don't get me wrong, my mom did a fabulous job and she/I have gotten SO many compliments on the dress. It looked amazing on me and it was so comfortable! My favorite part was that the skirt was velvet (we got married in October) which I find so luxurious.

Anyway, I wish I had read the post because it would have given me the courage to just try on different things and see what looked good on me and what I liked. It doesn't even have to be a wedding shop; just going and trying on formal dresses at Macy's will give you an idea of what you like and don't like. Just make sure you take a trusted, blunt friend who will not give you bad advice! :-D

Awesome photo by Rachel Naft!

No Bar is Better Than a Cash Bar

Despite the relaxation of "proper etiquette" in today's society, the bottom line is that these people are your GUESTS. They have given up at least two of these, if not more:

• Their time—maybe the most important of the list.
• A wedding gift—even if it's small, it's something they gave up for you.
• Transportation costs—plane, train, automobile rental, you name it.
• Accomodations—unless your entire guest list is from one area, someone is going to have to pony up for a place to stay.
  
• New clothes, haircut, etc.—sure, this is optional, but if they are representing you, you'd want them looking their finest!

I think it's completely inappropriate to have a cash bar at a wedding. If you can't afford it, don't have alcohol at all.

However, I was interested and a little shocked to find these responses to "Dear Abby." I don't think having your guests pay for their own drinks allows you to wash your hands of the matter and feel that you are not responsible for what happens to them. You're still providing the alcohol.

Strength in Numbers

Planning a wedding is tough. There are so many options, so many decisions to make, and yet you never quite feel that you have all of the necessary information. The best place for idea sharing is the Kvetch section of IndieBride. People from all over the country—and the world—share their ideas on anything from non-floral centerpieces to whether or not to show your tattoos!